a word for the year
i was downstairs brewing peppermint tea (me) and microwaving hot chocolate (him) when i noticed the clock on the oven said 0:00. (london speak for midnight). my lover was (fairly) patiently tending to our jet lagged daughters as they tried to control little bodies that thought it was only 6 pm. marco polo was paused on netflix, waiting for our return and fireworks began rattling our little flat.
and that’s how i rang in 2015.
but the next morning? as i sat with a journal open on my lap, strawberry shortcake playing in the background- for the aforementioned jet lagged children whom i dragged out of bed at 11 am…- and my heart well-heated from the Holy Spirit. the word came to me. a word that has been brewing for several months. after a rich season of growth and hunger and pieces just not quite coming together. cycles of excitement followed by inadequacies, raring to go followed by necessary weeks of physical rest and recharge. palpable desire. and it’s daunting to try and pack so much into 1 word. but when 1 word can have several different layers, several different depths and meanings and subjective translations, it can prove worthy.
for 2015, i long to CLAIM.
i will claim what is already within me…instead of striving after success, creativity, growth.
i long to lay more claim to the fruits that are promised to me thanks to the Holy Spirit. self-control, hi, apparently you are available when i change my perspective, my dependency, and i claim you in His name. patience, joy, i’m a comin for you by the power of the Spirit within me.
i desire to claim His presence and purpose to my every single day. i have visions of connecting with the Holy Spirit and praying in the way that only He can understand each morning, and then moving accordingly throughout my day. listening with a pen in hand. with purpose. with peace. with passion. without boundaries.
claiming the beautiful situation He knew i would be in right now. in london. these schools. this church. this community. our family.
claiming the parts of me that have so long been areas of shame. claiming my insatiability and channeling it for good. i think i’ve been scared or ashamed of that part of myself for so long. allowing myself to be hungry for so much- experience, flavor, extremes, even discomfort- instead of afraid of what that appetite might lead to.
claiming the roles that are most important in my world right now instead of daydreaming about all that could be.
i long to claim this body as it grows another baby within it. and then nurses a baby while sustaining 3 others. appreciating it for what God created it to do.
i am learning that a big part of maturing in my faith and my intimacy with my Abba Father, is changing my perspective. while life changing events may be in the cards for some and may be in my cards again in the future, He desires a turn of my eyes in the every single day. i am learning to sit and just listen. and give credit to the thoughts that pop into my mind when i put on that posture of listening. giving power to the Spirit that lives within me. that God gifted to me when i first believed that He created the world and He sent Himself in the form of His son, Jesus, to die for my sins. and paint a perfect picture of love for us to look to. for so long, i missed that part of my faith- the Presence within me. and i thought life had to be done with extra will-power and extra discipline. and as i have slowly lifted my fingers off of that notion, my days look the exact same but the heart behind it is what’s changing. giving significance to the ordinary and extraordinary tasks and thoughts of the day. like claiming self-control when i want to numb myself with something or allowing my mind to wander when i feel like it should be poetically expressing things to God. or even writing down the crazy aspirations of “doctor without borders” or “lawyer” or “author” that tend to come to my mind so very often. changing my perspective on the way God created me to be. and putting down a few of the books that i love to digest so that i can CLAIM my own story with Him.
and so CLAIM for 2015? is the desired theme. are there any others who are learning to CLAIM things that are their’s for the taking? do you have a desire for the year? let’s do this together, sisters.