Beautiful Beyond Our Control- Lore Ferguson
lore ferguson is a beautiful writer with an intelligent and measured voice. she regularly shares the beauty of her words over at sayable.net. this piece she wrote was featured on christianity today. her honest cry for inner renewal and being
un less-affected by the “beauty” obsessed world around us, is challenging and sisterhood rallying.
I was born cute—came squalling out of the womb with a head of dark hair and blue eyes. The hair turned blond before my first birthday and the eyes turned bluer. We were all small babies, petite and small-boned. I was born cute and stayed that way until I hit my teens.
Something happened in middle school; I remember the moments exactly, imprinted on my mind and heart. You never forget a trusted adult calling you homely or pinching the flesh on your strong thigh, saying, “If you can pinch it, you’re too fat.” I killed cute in middle school and claimed ugly instead.
Sometimes I think it is great grace to have turned into the person I am today, to have lost the youthful cuteness, to not meet the standards of what is deemed beautiful (or, in my circles, “smokin’ hot”). It would be difficult to say that I thank God for giving me the body I have because the truth is I despise my body more than I love it. I despise it because no matter how I nourish it, feed it healthy, whole things, I cannot control it…