The Pain Recedes & We Carry it Together- Shauna Niequist

yesterday was pregnancy and infant loss awareness day. and it hurts my heart so much to think about all of the loved ones i know and don’t know who have had to say goodbye to a baby- born or unborn. and i am a humble and- somehow, a kind-of proud- member of that group. to have loved a baby that grew inside of me SO much and to have to grieve that love, hurts in such a hard and enlivening way. my own story includes losing a baby at 13 weeks along. right when i thought we were in the clear of the 1st trimester and beginning to share our good news with others. fully allowing myself to CELEBRATE the baby and let my heart go even more wild with love. and then the harsh days that followed… of delivering that baby at home. and then having a scary trip to the ER as i was not able to recover. and then grieving that baby while caring for 2 other little ones, both helped and further hurt the process for me.

and as i think of those who were further along in the process. friends who went thru full-term deliveries… my heart aches for their hearts. and i offer up a very sincere i am so sorry, sister and prayer and recognition of your beloved. it was so beautiful to read Facebook posts of those who outwardly grieved their baby and encouraged others and reminded others to do the same. and leave it to shauna niequist to write a beautiful post about her experiences in losing a baby. and put it out there to others to allow them space to do the same- talk about it, grieve it, support one another. thank you, shauna.

from shauna niequist:



IMG_1920Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day…and I didn’t plan to write anything about it, frankly, because the reality of those experiences in our life feel very much in the past, as opposed to right up in this fresh present. But then I started thinking about that: for those of you who are grieving very fresh losses, it might be meaningful to know that, that the pain does recede over time. It does. I promise.

I know that every miscarriage and every pregnancy loss is different. I know that every woman is different, every family is different, that we grieve in all sorts of ways–some of us are shouters, some hiders, some of us weep loud and long, some of us write out the pain in black and white. I know there are as many ways to feel about the loss of a pregnancy or an infant as there are women, and I shy away from telling you anything at all, for fear of being prescriptive across such a tender expanse. At the same time, though, when it happened to me, I was desperate for other women’s stories–I needed to be told what the road ahead of me might look like…


{photo & words courtesy of}

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